Are you loved up enough?

I mean, really loved up?

Do you feel loved by the people in your life?

Do you have enough people loving on you?

Do you receive the love given to you all the way from the bottom of your toes to top of your head?

I mean, do you really believe you are truly loved? Completely, wholly as you?

I pray the answer is a big fat YES!

And if it isn’t a big fat YES, I have found that the better I can SPEAK for myself, SPEAK UP about my needs, and SPEAK my truth, the more loved I feel.

Crazy, I know.

I mean, what does speaking up have to do with love?

Just about everything.

See, I have a theory.

I believe unless you are living true to yourself, you will never really believe that anyone really loves you. Not really. Because inside you KNOW you aren’t fully being you.

If you aren’t SPEAKING UP and saying

what you need,

what you want,

and who you are…

THEN…HOW WILL YOU BELIEVE ANYONE CAN TRULY LOVE YOU if they can’t possibly know who you REALLY ARE?

I know this one well.

My biggest fear response for years (okay, decades) was shutting down around men.

I had this notion that if I didn’t speak up, I would be easier to love.

I was so afraid of being rejected, left, hurt…I actively and purposely made myself smaller.

I pretended I didn’t need anything different than what they were giving me (Crumbs by the way).

I acted as if I was happy, when I wasn’t. Or if my unhappiness slipped out, I would blame it on anything but them.

I was petrified they would leave me if I was a hassle or difficult to please.

So I shut down and shut up.

And ya know what, THEY LEFT ME ANYWAY.

I would beat myself up and swear I would not pick another guy like that.

Except, what I’ve come to know is it wasn’t the guy.

IT WAS ME!

I was the one that no one could love because I wasn’t showing up as me in the relationship. I was showing up as some version of mutated version of me but not me, not Rhonda Britten.

In other words, there was no one TO love.

Has this ever happened to you?

That the fear of rejection or being hurt or left was so great that you denied who you really are?

When you deny you have needs or wants or want things to be different…you are denying your very self.